My Alcoholic Friends
by Lyrical Soul
Summary: An ohmage to Tales of Irony, humour filled, drama packed and look there's some violence on the side. What more could you ask for?
1. Chapter 1

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This story is what I consider an ohmage to Allie's Tales of Irony, so I have used fellow Addek's in the story and the ideas are my own.

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**Chapter 1**

The weather was finally picking up in Seattle, the onset of Spring bringing forth clear skies and sun, still it some how still rained every so often. Addison loved the summer; it was her opportunity to wear shorter skirts and more revealing blouses, all in a hope to attract her husband to her. Stepping into Seattle Grace with her confident face and a look that said 'don't mess unless you want my heel in your throat', interns moved out of her way as she headed to NICU to check on her first round of patients.

As she was putting her bag in her locker she felt her phone vibrating, she thought it may have been Derek to tell her how much he loved him and that he had some shocking revelation and wasn't in fact in love with a certain Whorse by the name of Meredith. She got no such luck, the caller ID read Jessica, which meant it was her younger sister who was calling. Jess was her 19 yr old adopted sister; her parents were cocaine runners and were caught trafficking between Singapore and China and sentenced to death.

Addison's family had adopted her when they went to Singapore for their 32nd anniversary and they saw Jess working in a grocery store and it was love at first sight. Even though their was an 18 year age gap between the two they still loved each other, Addi always made an effort to look out for her younger sister. So she was surprised when she called out of the blue. Bringing the phone to her ear she smiled.

"Hey sis"

"Ugh finally you answer, guess what?"

"What? You finally stop obsessing about JDM?"

"Ah no I'm going to Florida for Spring Break!"

"So that means you are ditching me yet again"

"You can totally come with"

"As if, I'm still trying to get Derek to have sex with me"

"Uh that McDouche, please ditch him and hang with me"

Addison thought long and hard about her sister's proposal and sighed, spring break in Florida did sound like fun, and even though she would be a lot older than most other people there she didn't care. "Fine I'll come"

"Awesome, okay I'm going now I have to pack" She hung up the phone and Addison started to feel giddy about the prospect of going to Spring Break. Deciding she needed to go tell Richard, she was having time off and then find Derek that she was ditching his McLame ass to have sex with younger men. Not that she was but she wanted to see him squirm.

Addi was walking down the hall where she noticed Richard speaking to a nurse, quickening the pace she intercepted him and smiled, her hands on her hips. "Richard" She said with a persuasive smile.

"Addison?" He said raising an eyebrow.

"I need to use some of my vacation time"

"What for?"

"To go to Florida for spring break"

"No simply out of the question"

"Richard get someone to cover for me, I'm going"

"It's not NICU I'm worried about, how am I going to satisfy my clientele without Cobra?"

"Pssh I don't know bring in Kendel, I trained her she is just as good"

"But she is in Florida too…"

"Whatever I don't care, now where is my dick of a husband?"

"That dick of a husband was last seen in the basement"

She thanked Richard and ran down to the basement, it seemed oddly quiet down there, and she couldn't hear the sounds of the underground fights going on. She reminisced about the time she bare knuckle boxed with Meredith and won with a TKO in the first fifteen minutes, Meredith now had a scar on her forehead as a reminder that stealing her husband did not go unpunished.

Addison looked in all the rooms, there was no one in the storage closets as she began to near the end of the hall she felt like giving up then she remembered there was one place she hadn't looked. Walking to the very end she opened the door to Kayli's meth lab, Kayli was an intern who liked to make a little cash on the side by dealing drugs. Addi wasn't into drugs but was friends with Kay, she respected her money making scheme, and Richard approved too, the more drugs she sold the more patients Seattle Grace ended up getting.

Kayli was arguing with her hired help; Tyra Banks who refused to weigh the cocaine. "FUCKING HELL TYRA dghfgyhdfyh I hate you!" Addison laughed so her presence was made clear. Kay stopped glaring at Tyra and smiled at Addison. "Yo what's shaking?"

"Not much Kay, I was wondering if you've see McDouche?"

"Yea he's in the back, said he was looking for some specific product" Addi sighed and went around the back, opening the door to a smaller closet he found Derek leaning over Meh's stomach doing coke lines. He looked up with puppy dog eyes and some left over coke on his nose. "Oh shit, this isn't what it looks like"

"Oh no he dient" Addison said snapping her fingers to either side of her head in perfect Latina woman fashion. The anger in her began to rise and Meh had not yet noticed what was going on, she was clearly coked up to the eye balls and tripping out.

"Woah why is there a fox standing in the doorway?"

Derek sighed and covered her mouth to stop her from speaking, however Meredith was so stoned she was forgetting how to breathe and neither Addison nor Derek realised so there Meredith was turning blue. "Addi c'mon"

"I just came down here to tell you that I'm going to spring break but now I actually decided"

In the background Kay was ranting about how hungry she was and then proceeded to yell abuse. Addison in a swift motion took her four inch Prada heel to Derek's face and knocked him out, which was lucky in a way, because Meredith's mouth was free and she started breathing again. Although that could be perceived as a bad thing, I like looking it at a glass half empty situation meaning it was a bad thing.

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Hope you enjoyed it, I know alot of Meh bashing but what the hey. Reviews much appreciated. 


	2. Chapter 2

Alrighty chapter 2, a bit longer enjoy or else.

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Addison was waiting in the airport terminal, her flight wasn't for another half an hour but this gave her a chance to clear her thoughts. She had gotten a verbal punch in the face from Richard for breaking Derek's nose, actually he wasn't took distraught over his Neuro surgeon's nose but more so with the fact that his business that he ran with Preston Burke would have a downfall in customer's due to their star employees insisted on going to Florida for spring break. 

Her thoughts flashed back to the halls of Seattle Grace where before she left everyone in the hospital was laughing that Derek had his nose broken by a 450 dollar heel. Not to mention that his soon to be ex wife had done the deed, needless to say it had an adverse effect on his masculinity and if that kept happening he soon wouldn't have a penis. He would then be left to rely on Meh growing one and unless she had some hidden secret like not only was she a crack whore but a hermaphrodite it wasn't going to happen.

Looking down at her watch she had noticed her thoughts had kept her amused for fifteen minutes, standing up she grabbed her luggage and decided to board the plane. Once on the plane she was guided into a window seat, as she seated herself she ordered a vodka and tonic, it was going to be a flight she would need to drink on. Plus why not arrive at spring break drunk, everyone else there was going to be hammered. Moments later she was greeted by a young lady dressed in very corporate business attire.

"Hi I'm Brandy" The young woman said with a smile, Addison shook her hand and continued to look out onto the tarmac.

"I'm Addison, Dr Addison Montgomery-Sh…Montgomery" She loved introducing herself as Dr, that and introducing herself as Cobra, but that name was only used after hours.

"Nice to meet you, so where are you headed?"

"Florida, for spring break" Downing her second vodka and tonic she ordered another one, the flight attendants were getting a bit worried at her fast consumption of alcohol. Not to mind though Addison was a fun drunk.

"Oh really how cool. I'm off to a legal conference in New York"

"You're a lawyer? I'm in need of one of those"

Brandy was about to step in and say she was actually going to the legal conference to help her boss, she was only an assistant but Addison hadn't given her a chance.

"Consider your self hired, you're going to get me divorced" Just as the flight attendant was coming with her drink she ordered another one. "We need to celebrate I'm leaving my retard of a husband" Brandy took the other glass but Addison snatched it out of her hand and drank both.

"Uh I'm not a lawyer, I'm only 17"

"Look that's a minor detail, you look smart enough, here let me do something for you" She grabbed a piece of paper from her brief case and began to scribble all over it, the alcohol already effecting her inhibitions. Handing the piece of paper, Brandy just looked at it strangely.

"You know that doesn't count as an actual diploma right?"

"Sure it does, now you're coming to Florida with me and you're going to get me divorced and I will pay you copious amounts of money and now I shall get plastered" With that Addison pet Brandy on the head and continued on drinking. After hours passed their flight landed in Florida and Brandy needed to help Addison off the plane, who was stumbling. Brandy accepted Addi's job offer even if she had no idea what she was doing she had some fake law certificate her client made and insured payment.

The soon arrived at the hotel room they were staying in, Addi stumbled into the elevator and as they waited she pulled her clarinet from her bag. Why she packed it she wasn't sure of but she decided she couldn't leave it in Derek's trailer, which she decided to riddle with bacon so that doc would tear apart her jack ass husband's belongings. Of course she moved most of her things into a safe a place and hopefully Derek would have a nice little surprise waiting for him.

Brandy glanced sideways at Addison and watched as she brought the clarinet to her lips, as she blew one note Brandy slapped the clarinet away. "We're trying to be professional" She said still trying to get used to the fact she was going to be Addi's divorce attorney. Addi however didn't listen and went to play it again, and yet again Brandy slapped the clarinet away yet again and Addison just pouted, trying her luck again she found the clarinet being slapped away once more.

When the elevator reached the floor the doors opened and to any people waiting for the elevator they bore witness to Brandy and Addison wrestling around, Brandy holding the clarinet away from Addison as she drunkenly tugged at her hair. It took them a while to finally realise that the elevator had stopped and when they looked up both of their faces turned a deep shade of scarlet and they sheepishly left the elevator. Brandy still holding the clarinet, when they reached their room they unpacked their things and Addison decided it was time they had some fun. Brandy remained hesitant.

Brandy remained dressed in her business attire even though Addison pleaded with her to change into something more fitting of the Spring Break activities but she refused. Addison on the other hand got dressed into a bikini and wrapped a sarong around her waist and placed her large Chanel glasses on her head and called her sister. Brandy called her boss to tell him that she had found a better job, not exactly explaining what the job was considering it wasn't too legal. Addison waited for her sister to pick up and when she did she smiled.

"Hey Jessabelle"

"You're drunk, you only call me that when you've had one too many. Where are you?"

"I'm in my hotel room, where are you?" Her words slurred a little.

"I'm down by the TRL tent meet me here kay?"

"Yea will do" Hanging up she grabbed Brandy by the arm and dragged her to the elevator. "You're gonna come have some fun with me and make sure I don't get into trouble" As they entered the streets they marvelled at how many people were partying, Addi eyes many a hot guy and joined a conga line that was passing them by. Brandy couldn't catch where she was going and wandered off. As she was walking away she decided she needed a drink, okay she was underage but she looked over 21. She made her way over to where a keg was situated and grabbed herself a beer. "Hey what do you think you're doing?" She wondered who was talking to her.

Too her right was a girl who was a couple inches shorter than her and she was holding a spork out in a threatening manner. "Uh getting a drink" Brandy said hesitantly.

"Yeah from my keg!"

"Aren't you like 10?" Brandy said matter-o-factly.

"No I'm 13 actually"

"Yeah but legally you aren't old enough to drink or legally purchase a keg so how did you get one?"

"What do you think I use this spork to make myself look good?"

"What's your name?" Brandy said raising an eyebrow.

"Allie and you?"

"Brandy, look I need to go find a friend, you wanna help me?" Allie nodded her head and they waked off in search of Addison. Meanwhile Addison had removed herself from the conga line and met with her younger sister who was sipping on a vodka cruiser by the TRL tent. She was about to approach her when she found herself being intercepted. "Hey wanna buy some e, only $30 for a tab" When Addison looked at the woman she noticed it was Tyra Banks, Kayli's assistant. Sure enough Kay could be heard yelling. "fsdfjhugf;kfglj Not like that you idiot!" Kay soon emerged from behind the tent and looked shocked when she saw Addi.

"Kay what are you doing here?"

"Well we're trying to expand our drug market; we have already been kicked out of Mexico. They said we were corrupting their youth with our filthy 'American' drug. Like their drugs are any better" Addison cocked an eyebrow and just sighed, Kay was all business, and she wondered how she got away with leaving the hospital but she knew better than to ask, Kayli had many hidden talents.

"Look I have to go I'm meeting someone, we'll catch up some time okay" Addison smiled and left the two drug dealers to go speak with Jess who was chatting up a younger man. Addison interrupted them and pulled her sister into an embrace, before snatching her drink and downing it. "Well hello to you too" Jess said before grabbing herself a new drink.

"Hey I'm getting divorced I have a right to get plastered" Jess laughed and led her to a secluded part of the beach.

"Seriously? You're divorcing that jackass?"

"Hell yeah and now I'm ready to party away my misery" She said while slightly shaking her hips to the music that could be heard.

"I think you've had a bit much to drink"

"And I don't think you've had enough" Addison said before getting her sister and herself another drink.

Meanwhile back in Seattle things were getting a little hectic without Richard's star OBGYN, the underground fighting loop that happened in the basement was getting out of control and he was getting calls from bookies, then Derek requested vacation time and now Meredith Grey could be found doing coke lines off any shiny surface in the hospital. Richard had seen better days. Just as he had hung up the phone Bailey burst through the door.

"Richard we have an issue!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 **

The chief rose out of his chair and looked at Bailey with concern pouring over his features. Bailey was panting, having run a full flight of stairs because the elevator was occupied. She could have sworn she heard McDreamy and Meh having a fight in there and she promised herself that once this issue was dealt with she would make it her mission to torture that wavy haired retard. Her breathing finally calmed down and she rested her palms on the Chief's desk, furrowing her brow in the process.

"What is it?" Richard said becoming impatient.

"The NICU is out of control, there are bookies down in the foyer yelling and the elevator is out of order. And if that's not all our head of Neurology is missing"

Richard collapsed into his chair and sighed, things were not looking good. He had tried to delay the bookies as long as he could but they wanted their share of the winnings they had made. The underground fights had been a flop these days, with his star fighter in the ring he was losing more money than he was making. Sure Cristina was nuts but that was half the problem, no one was willing to face her. So while Addison was away he tried his hardest to organise fights for Cristina but no one would bite.

"Alright, I need to make some calls; you go handle the elevator situation"

Bailey nodded and turned and left the elevator, she had her own plan to fix everything in the hospital. She really did not care about the absence of her intern or the retard that pined over her while he was still married to an incredibly hot surgeon. Hell if Bailey wasn't married with children she probably would have left her husband for Addison. As she was walking down the halls she spotted Dr Yang, her best intern and quickly made a bee line in her direction. "Yang I need your help"

Cristina was reading over a patients chart when she heard Bailey snap at her, turning around she faced the short but surprisingly intimidating resident. She was hoping it was some cool case that had just been brought in, she hadn't been in the OR in a day and she was beginning to have withdrawal symptoms. The chief had promised her that if she won the next three fights she would get to scrub in on every one of his surgeries for the next three weeks however there had been no one to fight. Her crazy persona scared everyone off. "What is it Dr Bailey?"

"I need to get to Florida, and my husband has the car and I don't like flying. I hear you have a motorbike, think you could ride me up there"

"Uh…let me get this straight you want me to ride you to Florida? Why?" Cristina raised an eyebrow.

"We need to get Addison Shepherd back here, so you in?"

"Sure, sounds like fun. When do we leave?"

"As soon as I get dumb and dumber out of the elevator" Cristina nodded and Bailey headed towards the stair well and took the stairs to the floor in which the elevator was stuck on.

Meanwhile in the stuck elevator Derek was beginning to go stir crazy, after spending so much time with Meredith he was beginning to wonder why he had slept with her in the first place. She was constantly ranting and whining and he couldn't handle it. He felt like smashing her face in but his 2 million a dollar hand was too important to be wasted on her face. He kept looking at her face and thinking about how it didn't even compare to Addison's beauty, then he tried to see if the sex is what kept him going after Meredith but that wasn't even any good. He was really beginning to wonder what had been going through his head.

"Will you please shut up!" Derek exclaimed, he really wanted to get out of that elevator and find Addison and beg her not to divorce him, it had taken him one broken down elevator to make him realise that Meredith was nothing more than a one night stand, that he just kept running back to.

"Derek is something the matter?"

"Yes you won't shut the hell up and I have just realised that I am in love with my wife and not you. Look be quiet for 5 minutes, actually why don't you just stop speaking all together. Have you ever noticed how whiny and annoying your voice is? UGH no wonder I told you to be quiet during sex."

The tears began to prick the back of Meredith's eyes and the tears soon began to flow and she began to sob uncontrollably and that only made Derek's annoyance grown into unbearable anger. Back out in the hall Bailey was leaning into the door and listening to their conversation, laughing to herself as she listened to Derek's epiphany, albeit a late one it was still a sign of growth and she welcomed it. "Alright men you can open the doors" She turned to the fireman and decided she had enough of watching Derek squirm.

"Uh we can't its not broken down, it turns out that the stop button is just held down"

"What?" Bailey looked at him and then back to the shut elevator doors. "You have got to be kidding me. One of you idiots is holding the stop button" Inside the elevator Derek listened carefully to Bailey's words and then looked around, and there it was. Meredith's hand was compressed down on the stop button. He was about to just grab her head and slam it into the door when Meredith noticed what he was looking at. She blushed and removed her hand. "Oops"

"That's all you can say, Oops? UGH you idiot we were down here for two hours all because you had your hand on the stop button my god" As soon as the elevator came back on to the floor he stormed out of the elevator and left a broken down Meredith inside crying. Bailey didn't go in and console instead she just laughed and walked off towards the parking lot. Cristina was leaning on her motorbike waiting, holding two helmets, she was about to take one of the helmets when George O'Malley came running out. "Alright ladies we ready?"

"What is he doing here Yang?"

Cristina sighed and nodded her head. "I told George he could come, he didn't want to be stuck here with the stand in OBGYN and he said he would promise to let me in on any cool cases and he's going to ride in the side car" Bailey looked slightly frustrated but it was Cristina's bike so it was essentially her call. Taking a helmet from Cristina, she hopped on the back of the bike behind Cristina who was already revving the engine. Bailey gave the go ahead and they soon made their way out of the parking lot and in the direction of Florida. It would be a long ride but they all knew that.

Derek had managed to avoid running into Richard and he was currently in the Attending's locker room packing his things, he was on a mission to win back his wife's heart and he was determined to do so. Not only that but he was trying to stealthily evade Meredith Grey, whom he really wasn't fond of at this point in time. Grabbing his bags he snuck out of the hospital and got in his range rover, destination the air port. At the same time Richard was doing everything in his power to avoid the bookie's but it was too late and so far he was signing their checks, the bets they had arranged. He offered to get Addison back but they refused and this was not boding well for him. He was regretting his choice to let Addison go to Florida now.

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Back in Florida Brandy was on a mission with Allie to find Addison, they weren't having much luck, everywhere was too crowded and they had stumbled onto the beach. Allie had become distracted by a beach volleyball game and Brandy was trying to sway Allie into getting back on track, she had sworn she had seen a fiery red headed woman walking around but when she made her way over to where she thought she was she had disappeared. Little did Brandy know that Jess and Addison had become part of the crowd viewing the antics of the infamous stripper Kendy was putting on one hell of a show. 

Addison could barely see over the large crowd but felt as though the dancer was familiar; she began to brush through the crowd making her way to the front, dragging Jess with her. When they finally made it to the front Addison's mouth dropped, it was her protégé, her padowan, her apprentice. The only person in the world she considered her daughter who she had trained since she joined Richard's apostle of strippers. He liked to say they resembled the twelve apostles but that wasn't politically correct, so they agreed not to put that on any of the billboards. The last thing Richard needed was Christians and Catholics knocking on the doors of SGH.

It surprised Addison to see Kendel up on stage, she knew she was in Florida but she had no idea she was performing. She watched in amazement, surprised at her apprentices talent, when Cobra and Kendy hit up the strip poles there was no other match for the duo. They earned like 5 grand a piece in half an hour. It's easier to understand why Richard didn't want to let Addison go now. Before the act had finished a crazy Kayli was on stage jumping around and yelling some gibberish on top of other things.

"STOP STARIN AT MY WOMAN! She's for my eyes only" She yelled into the microphone and tried to scare off all the men in the crowd but they wouldn't go. This was frustrating Kay and she began to scream. Kendel stopped dancing and then Kay stopped yelling and they ran into each other's arms, in slow motion which was weird considering everything else was in normal speed. After they embraced people in the crowd started to disperse and leave but Addison and Jess remained.

"PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG" Kendel yelled. Addison sighed and stepped up onto the stage.

"POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG" Kay matched Kendel's randomness with her own and Jess just looked puzzled.

"What's going on?" Jess whispered to her sister.

"An intense match of ping pong I wouldn't get in the way" Addison had known of Kendel's and Kayli's friendship, or love affair she wasn't exactly sure what it was but they were close to say the least. That's how Addi became friends with Kay, she had seen her at the club Richard ran many a time, at first she assumed she was looking for a job but then Kendel told her the story. They had met a long time ago, Ken was working in San Jose, trying to make a name for herself and Kayli, and well she was doing what she does best. Dealing drugs, and lets just say it was lust/love at first drug deal.

Jess and Addison continued to watch the intense match and soon Kayli gave up and growled she hated losing. Kendel turned around, doing a victory dance in the process and spotted Addison, immediately grabbing her in a hug. "What re you doing here?" She said with an ear to ear grin.

"I came to enjoy spring break with my sister, away from that jerk who I will soon no longer have to call my husband"

"You're getting a divorce! I have been waiting for this day my whole life"

"I highly doubt that Ken, so you didn't tell me you were dancing up here. Richard is going nuts"

"I just needed a change of scenery, seeing the same old faces was getting to me"

"Make me a sandwich" Kay interjected, her hands firmly placed on her hips.

"Only if you clean my room" Kay was about to go clean her room when she realised that there was no room to clean.

Addison just laughed and Kendel sighed. "Look I have to get back to work and I promised Kay I would distract her from Tyra for a while. Where is she by the way?"

"I locked her up in my car, don't worry I wound the windows down and put the Paris Hilton cd on for her" Kay let out an evil laugh and Jess took it upon herself to lead Addison away quietly. "You sure do know some weird people"

"Yeah I know, so we need to find Brandy…" Addison looked around for her lawyer or any signs of her; it couldn't be too hard to find her considering she was the only one on the beaches in business attire.

Finally Bailey, Cristina and George arrived in Florida, you're probably wondering how they managed to get there on the same day they left, and well it puzzles me too. Honestly I don't know, maybe they decided to catch a plane or perhaps Cristina's bike had jets, look why are you asking me this because I have no god damn idea. Leave me the hell alone I'm just the correspondent no one tells me anything I just write.

Anywho they have arrived and that's all that matters. Bailey got off the bike, classic aviator sunglasses were worn by the three of them, the small intimidating black woman parted the night crowds and led the other two interns into the heart of the party. They all looked a little out of place, they were all still in their scrubs so they were easy to pick out in a crowd. "Alright Y'all split up and look around this place for Montgomery-Shepherd and I...well what I do is none of your business" The interns followed her directions and took separate paths.

"Hey would you watch where you're going…gimme that you big bafoon" Bailey was still in control even in Florida, snatching a bottle of tequila from one of the partiers she smelt it and cringed and then took a large swig. "You call this alcohol; you're a big bunch of babies. I'm the Nazi I'm gonna show you how a real woman drinks" The guys started laughing and she downed the bottle of tequila as if it was nothing and remained standing and just laughed. Their mouths gaped and Bailey knew that she was going to have some fun.

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Alrighty there we go, it's longer than the other two but yea woo it's action packed. 


	4. Chapter 4

I know it's been a while since I updated but hey I have a life, despite what some of you think and school...so um yea it's here now so it's all good.

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**Chapter 4**

Derek was growing impatient as he sat on the flight, he was fidgeting and the whiny lady kept on talking to him. His first mistake was mentioning that he was a surgeon and now she was asking him all sorts of medical questions. Taking a deep breath he excused himself from the boring conversation and walked towards the bathroom, he was feeling unusually itchy in the crotch region and had been for quite some time. As he entered the tiny toilet he sat on the toilet seat and sighed, he wondered what everyone was doing most of all he was thinking about Addison.

The woman he married and used to play fun games with, sometimes they would experiment and drop tabs of e before sexing it up a little of course that was back in their med school days. Then there were their games of hooker's monopoly and strip cluedo. How he missed that woman, looking at the mirror he sighed, he looked like shit but that was due to the copious amounts of coke he had been doing to help him sleep and make the sex with Meredith easier to handle. Who at this stage was growing uglier by the second.

His hand began to scratch furiously at his manhood, the feeling was welcome as the itching feeling slowly passed, he wondered what was causing it and he continued to scratch. When the itch remained he became curious and decided he should take a look, undoing his belt and unbuttoning his trousers he peered down his boxer shorts and began to swear to himself. "That fucking whore gave me crabs!" He yelled not caring if anyone else heard.

Panic worked it's way across his features when he heard someone knocking on the door, quickly he did up his pants and opened the door, rushing past the person who was next in line to use it. The rest of the flight became increasingly awkward as he began regretting even further sleeping with the woman known as Meredith Grey. Not only that but the itching had failed to cease so he was always tempted to reach into his trousers and scratch away but the lady sitting next to him, who wouldn't shut up prevented him from doing that.

Meanwhile at Seattle Grace Richard had paged Preston Burke, head of the cardiothoracic department for an urgent meeting. Burke confidently strode up the stairs and headed in the direction of Richard's office, eager to find out what this last minute meeting was about. He hoped it had something to do with him becoming chief of surgery after Richard retired but when he arrived in the office he found Richard sitting in his chair breathing deeply. This didn't seem like it would be good news.

"Burke we have a lot of problems"

"What are you talking about?" Burke said raising an eyebrow, curious as to what was going on.

"Addison and Kendel are in Florida, the underground fights have been shut down due to the fact no one is willing to fight your girlfriend and now Bailey and Derek have run off"

"Holy shit, what are we gonna do?"

"Well for starters we need to go to Florida and get our god damn best employees back, then our doctors. We can't have our business going under"

Burke nodded in agreement; they had spent a lot of time building up their business. So far they had a string of gentlemen's clubs situated at various points around Seattle. Each dragging in a hefty amount of money as Burke and Richard had a knack for picking out girls with the stripping talent. They each considered themselves entrepreneurs; Burke was set to take over the business when Richard had enough money to retire but with the issues that had just arisen there would be a minor set back in his plans. "Alright so when to we leave?"

"I have a car waiting for us and we will head to the airport immediately, our private jet is waiting on standby" Richard stood up and he and Burke nodded in perfect timing, both exiting the office; destination Florida. Little did Richard and Burke know that they had an audience. Alex Karev was chasing after Izzie, the object in which he desired but she was how she was usual. Stubborn, even after everything that happened with Denny, and his effort to get her back into the program, a long with help from the others and a hefty bribe she still refused to go on a date with him.

"Aww c'mon Izz please?"

"No, you missed your chance, the beast is fed and you are not getting any more of this awesome sex"

"This sounds all too familiar... Almost like déjà vu"

"Shutup Alex, the chief and Burke are gone, Bailey took Cristina and George to Florida to find Addison and now Derek is going there too, and Meredith is down in Kay's meth lab getting high. I've decided I'm going to Florida, so if anyone asks I'm using my vacation time"

Alex watched as Izzie walked away and sighed, he wasn't about to stay in the hospital that was slowly falling apart. Getting in his car he followed Izzie to the airport, determined to find his fellow interns and colleagues as well as try and get into Dr Isobel Steven's pants once again. How that man loved to feed her beast but little did he know she had turned to women after the whole Denny incident.

Back in Florida Kayli was making her way back to her car when she noticed that Tyra had escaped and the Paris Hilton CD that she had left her with had been destroyed much to her dismay. She looked around and found a trail of cheerio's going from the car up to the pricy hotel room she had ordered for her and her partner. Following the trail up into her hotel room she noticed that the room was dimly lit and the aroma of vanilla scented candles wafted throughout the room. Eventually she came to the bedroom and her gaze trailed over the bed and met with the scantly clad Tyra.

She was kneeling up, spinning a pair if pink fluffy handcuffs around her index finger. Kay wasn't sure what to expect so she raised an eyebrow and moved closer, although she was still upset with Tyra due to the real reason they were in Florida. Tyra and Kayli were avoiding the police because Tyra had left the burner on too long in the lab and it caught on to the rest of the product. Let's just say that the meth lab will be out of commission for some time. However despite all this Kay was unable to stay mad because of how seductive Tyra looked.

Walking forwards Kay took the handcuffs from Tyra's extended finger and began to cuff her to the bed. This punishment was a lot better than the previous punishment, and it managed to please both of them. Tyra was now cuffed to the bed and Kay had decided she was going to be generous and do her own personal strip tease for her drug dealing intern. Although there was no pole present in the room Kayli was resourceful and would find other means of arousing her counterpart without pole dancing, although it always helped.

Meanwhile out in the college student ridden streets of Florida Addison and Jess were involved in a large drinking game that involved copious amounts of alcohol consumption. George had found them and rather than reporting back to Bailey Addison had roped him into the game as well. Jess was on the losing end of the game was getting drunker by the second; Addison on the other hand was winning and sobering up slowly. Brandy and Allie were still on a mission to find Addison, they were currently posted on a street corner, Brandy had climbed up a lamp post and was scouting while Allie protected her keg.

Selling her beer to customer's that passed, making a considerably profit. The kid may have only been 13 but she was business savvy. As Allie was pouring a cup of beer for one of her customer's she noticed white silly string being sprayed all over the joint. When she turned around she watched as a female dressed in a spider man costume jumped around singing.

"Spider girl, Spider girl does whatever a spider….can….wait that doesn't rhyme…does whatever a spider hurls…yeah that'll do"

"What do you think you're doing?" Allie asked standing in front of her keg protectively; Brandy climbed down the lamp post and was now witnessing the happenings.

"I'm trying to take that there keg; I'm just a tid bit thirsty"

"That is my keg and you cannot have any of it" As soon as she had said that Spider-girl made a jump for the keg, Allie jumped in the way and felt her body being pressed against the keg as they both fell to the ground. Beer began spraying everywhere and Brandy was drenched. Both girls looked at the older girl sheepishly. Brandy was angry to say the least; her favourite suit now stunk of beer, cheap beer too. "That's it! I am going to get changed and then I am finding Addison, you two little…freaks can stay here and do whatever but you are not coming with me!"

Brandy stormed off in the direction of the hotel room she and Addison shared and quickly got changed into something more appropriate and less beer soaked. Considering she only had one suit with her the rest of her clothing she had packed was far more relaxed. Now dressed in jeans and a tank top she left the hotel and went in a more serious search of Addison. Back at the scene of the crime Allie and Spider-girl were bickering, Allie was trying to get the girl to take her mask off but she refused.

Then bursting out of a passing crowd came Bailey who was now holding a full bottle of tequila as well as a half full bottle of scotch. "I heard bickering from a mile away and seeing as no one else here is old enough to mediate I decided to come, now what the hell is your problem?"

Allie looked up at her nervously and sighed. "She won't take off her mask"

"I don't have to!" Spider-girl said confidently.

"Look take your damn mask off and then you two are coming to help me drink these fools under the table" With the force behind Bailey's voice no one dared disobey her. The girl took off her spider-man mask and pouted. "Alright I need names. Now!"

"Allie" Allie got to her feet and walked closer to the black woman who was even shorter than the 13 year old.

"Erana but call me Spider" Bailey raised an eyebrow but nodded to the child's request.

"Alright come with me" Bailey lead the two teenage girls away from the street corner into a small huddled crowd within a bar, three frat boys were sitting closely together on one side of the booth and Bailey, Allie and Erana sat on the empty side. Bailey placed the bottles of alcohol down on the table and smiled evilly at the boys. "How old are they?" One of the cocky frat boys asked.

"That does not matter, they're here and they are on my damn team" The boys shrunk in there seats and nodded, none of them being brave enough to stand up to the woman whom had downed a whole bottle of vodka earlier by herself and was still sober. Pouring a shot glass for each of the participants she slid them out, each of them now had one shot of scotch in front of them. She counted to three and they each downed the alcohol. The frat boys were surprised at the young teenager's ability to gulp the drink down like it was nothing. Clearly Bailey's team would win.

At a hotel room situated in prime partying territory Derek Shepherd had stripped down to his boxer's and was now in the bathroom reading the instructions on the bottle of shampoo he had bought. Derek was too desperate to go to an actual pharmacist to buy the shampoo so instead he bought it off someone on the side of the street. Who just so happened to be our reliable drug dealer Kayli, before Kay had gone back to her hotel room and after her date with Kendel she had found Derek and decided it was high time she punished him for what he had done to Addison.

So rather than selling him shampoo, which she did sell him, which actually was the real thing she added two tabs of LSD to the mix. She had conned him into believing that the tablets would make the shampoo work faster. Now even though Derek is a brain surgeon he is not very intelligent, clearly so being the bone head that he is he took her word for it. Now back in the hotel after applying the shampoo to the infected region and downing the two tabs of LSD he began to feel a little funny. Sounds were becoming amplified and he was seeing funny colours.

He was tripping out and when he saw the oversized spider resting in the corner of the bathroom he screamed and ran out of the hotel room nude. Yes nude, what a disgusting sight to see. So now he was running down the street naked, screaming, and sometimes stopping to pat people, commenting on how soft they felt and how he could see their voices. At one point he ran through the drinking game that Jess, Addison and George were currently participating in and Brandy whom was in the crowd trying to get to Addison. Addison looked up, as did everyone else when Derek ran through and her jaw dropped.

"Was that man, that naked man, that naked man screaming my husband?"

"Soon to be ex husband" Jess slurred, her and George were both rather drunk and were trying to play uno with a normal deck of cards.

"Draw four" George said putting his card down in the pile. Jess growled at George and began to pick up four cards from the deck.

Brandy finally pushed through the crowd and reached Addison. "Finally I found you" Sighing she slumped into a chair next to Addison and looked at the several empty shot glasses that covered the table top. Addison smiled and looked up at her friend. "You got changed, finally. Where have you been?"

"I could ask you the same thing. Okay so I just saw Derek, and Jess and that man in scrubs are very drunk"

"Yes they are. I forgot how hot Derek was…even when screaming and running around"

"Don't say that, he's a bastard and treats you like shit"

"How would you know I only hired you today"

"I've seen season 2" Addison raised an eyebrow and looked at Brandy quizzically.

Back in the airport terminal Meredith was having trouble getting through customs. She had been stopped after security found her walking around aimlessly holding a baby doll ranting about something that no one could make sense of. But that's how you get after doing 20+ coke lines off a toilet seat and then sneaking into the male toilets and eating a urinal cake.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 **

Izzie's cab had pulled up at the airport and she began hurrying through the terminal, eager to get out of Seattle, not wanting to spend another instant in that hospital which would probably soon be engulfed by flames. As she made haste through the airport, swiftly dodging the crowds she heard a familiar whining voice. A voice that could only belong to that of Meredith Grey. As the blonde doctor tracked the voice to the source she noticed two customs officer's holding her by the shoulders and trying to speak to her. "M'am we can't let you go through and board the plane" "Why not!" Meredith shrieked, shaking the baby doll in her arms violently. "Can't you see that my baby is sick!"

The officer's looked at each other, unsure of how to react to the crazy lady before them. Izzie decided her friend was in need of help, the two hadn't been as close as they usually were recently. With Denny's death as well as Meredith's sudden nose dive into drug addiction the two had grown apart. Approaching the scene of all the commotion she smiled sweetly at the two men. "Miss you really shouldn't be here, we can handle this" The men continued to try and apprehend the drug addled Meredith but they weren't having much luck as her skinny frame made it easy for her to slide out of their grip.

"Officer this woman is under my care, she is suffering from Dementia. She's supposed to be coming with me to Florida for a new experimental breakthrough program" Izzie took the plane ticket that Meredith was clutching and sighed, hoping that this would convince the officer's.

"Izzie what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be getting Mr Tilbrooke a MRI?" The officer's looked at each other once more and shrugged their shoulders.

"Okay well ladies you better get going, she looks like she is in dire need of that program thingy" The officer's stepped aside and Izzie smiled to herself as she linked arms with Meredith and lead her towards the plane they were to board. Little did they know Alex was trailing behind them, like the sleazy little stalker that he was. Once on the plane Meredith had calmed down, still nursing the plastic baby and cooing to it quietly she kept insisting to Izzie that it wasn't well. Izzie really wasn't sure what to do with Meredith but she hoped the effect of the drugs would wear off soon, that and the consumption of the urinal cake.

Back in Florida, the sun began to rise; Bailey, Spider and Allie were each being thrown out of the bar, all of them extremely drunk. They stumbled around the streets, arms around each other as the group chanted sea shanties. The three of them had managed to drink an entire football team under the table and were still ready for more challengers however the owner of the bar wasn't and decided it was time the place closed down for the day until the next night. It was rather surprising actually, considering the amount of alcohol consumed by bother the teenager's, Bailey was thoroughly impressed.

Brandy had managed to carry Addison back to their hotel room, even though Addison had insisted she was fine the mere fact that she walked into a door told Brandy that she was pretty drunk. She tried to get George and Jess to come but they were playing a heated game of go fish and were betting shards of glass, they two were very drunk. Once she had gotten Addison settled in bed she wondered what it would be like handling a full blown divorce case, however she doubted it would ever make it to the court room considering Addison kept rambling about Derek as they walked back to the hotel room, mainly things about their sex life which she did not need to know.

Cristina was passed out on the beach a long with the other members of her volleyball team, she had wandered into a game of beach volleyball and had managed to get herself involved, ultimately leading her team to victory. Purely because the other team were petrified of Cristina who threatened to rip their aorta out of their chest with her bare hands if they so much as thought about winning. At first they hadn't taken her seriously but when one of the girls scored a point Cristina had spear tackled her and attempted to drown her. When the team had won they celebrated the best way they knew how, with loads of alcohol, hence why Cristina was passed out on the beach.

Derek was a completely different story, he had wandered into a downtown tattoo parlour and the owner had seen Derek's body and just thought blank canvas. The tattooist knew not all was right with Derek but still chose to ask him to sign forms allowing her to tattoo his body with artistic licence. He was sedated by the images on the wall, the images of various tattoos merging into giant colourful mosaics that hypnotised him. So while he was completely out of the tattooist placed several tattoos around his lower back, unfortunately for Derek the artist had a strange obsession with Miss Piggy and therefore now had a large mural across his lower back of Miss Piggy being serenaded by Kermit the frog. How attractive. There was one thing to be happy for, he no longer had the nasty little critters roaming around his pleasure patch. However if you hate the man like I do then that is not necessarily a good thing.

Hours later a large stretch limo pulled outside a five star hotel, two tall black men dressed head to toe in lavish pimp suits stepped out. Each sporting a cane and over the top bling. Both Burke and Richard had decided it was best they retrieve their best dancers in style so on the way in their private jet they decided to get out their pimp suits and go all out for their short trip to Florida. As they strutted through the hotel lobby their composure demanded respect. Burke trailing after Richard making sure no one stopped to disturb the Chief. As Richard approached the service desk he extended his hand and thrust his large diamond ring into the concierges face, she knew exactly what to do. Without any word of complaint she kissed the ring and immediately gave them keys to the presidential suite, not even asking for payment. These pimps were not to be messed with.

Addison shifted on the bed, the sunlight pounding down on her, her head throbbing, it would be one of those situations where she swore of alcohol but inevitably would continue to drink. The door opened and Brandy came in baring large bags of take out, following behind her was Kayli who was also leading Tyra in on a leash. Addison closed her eyes and rubbed her head then began groaning. "I came baring food and a Kayli" Addison looked at Brandy and raised an eyebrow. "What are they doing here?" She said referring to both Kayli and Tyra who were sitting on a sofa just watching as Addison struggled to get out of bed. Addison barely made it out of the bed before she stumbled and collapsed onto the floor, Brandy approached her and handed her a cheeseburger and smiled.

"I think you'll be needing some Advil"

"Why are you giving her Advil when she can just get high?" Kayli pulled out a small bag of cocaine and dangled it in front of her. Brandy snatched it from her hand and threw it out the window, some homeless bum is gonna have some fun tonight.

"Kay she is not doing drugs, I thought you already had a big client base?" Brandy said eating her food in the process.

"Well I do but how am I supposed to get Addison naked, let alone more naked while she is sober?" Addison looked up from her cheeseburger with a shocked expression.

"Excuse me?" Kayli looked at her sheepishly and just grinned before standing up and making a dash for the door. Not wanting to be questioned any further about her intentions.

When Izzie and Meredith finally arrived in Florida, closely trailed by Alex they went straight to a hotel, Izzie immediately checking her friend's belongings for any drugs. As she poured the contents of Meredith's bag she watched in awe as several packets of little pills and sachets of white powder spilled out onto the bed. She wasn't sure of how much Meredith had consumed but it seemed as though it was a lot considering she was still ranting to herself about the baby being sick. Deciding she would need assistance with handling the drug addled woman before he should called the one person she knew would be able to help. Addison scrambled to find her phone as she heard it ringing, the sound only making her headache worse. As she picked up she sighed.

"Hello?"

"Uh Addison it's me Izzie"

"Izzie Stevens? Why are you calling me?" Addison said sitting up in her bed and wondering why the young intern was calling her.

"Well I'm here with Meredith Grey and she is having a problem, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind I don't know taking a look at her?" The blonde doctor was hesitant but she needed help.

"Why on earth would I want to help that floozy? I mean she stole my husband and basically ruined my life. So tell me Dr Stevens why would I want to help her?" Addison said remembering how much she hated Meredith Grey.

Izzie paused, Addison raised a valid point and she wasn't entirely sure how to respond. Taking a deep breath she prepared herself to bullshit through an appropriate reason as to why Addison Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd would want to help Meredith Grey. "You should help her, because it would be helping me, and you like me and I am a promising student who wants you to mentor her an-" Izzie was cut off by the sound of Addison groaning who was beginning to get her migraine back and the Advil she had taken was wearing off. Addison sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose and decided it was just easier to give in than to fight right now, and she really didn't feel like fighting.

"Fine I'll help the stupid whore, meet me at the Riverside café in about five hours" Addison hung up the phone and collapsed back into her pillows, groaning as she did so. At some stage during the day Brandy managed to pull her out of the bed and get her ready for the meeting she had arranged purely because Izzie's perky voice was starting to feel like a drill boring into her brain. Once she was ready she hesitated on leaving for the meeting place, not really looking forward to meeting with Meredith, she was beginning to wonder why on earth someone let her speak on the phone while she was hung over. Everyone knows you don't make rational decisions when hung over and if anyone says talking to Meredith Grey is a rational decision I demand you punch them in the throat several times.

As Izzie guided the still high Meredith through the streets of Florida which were getting increasingly busier she found herself wondering what it was exactly that Addison was going to be able to do. The two female doctors walked below several balconies unaware that Derek Shepherd, who had passed out on the balcony of his hotel room was coming too and needed to take a piss. Still feeling slightly groggy he didn't even bother to navigate himself towards the bathroom, just standing up and aiming he let his urine flow out of his system and out onto any passing people. The unsuspecting victim of this lovely piss shower was in fact Meredith Grey. She had stopped to coo her fake baby to sleep when the warm liquid sprayed over her head, she looked up in shock horror and even though she wasn't 100 with the world she still knew that being pissed on was disgusting.

Meredith's shriek pulled Derek out of his daze and he jumped, almost over the balcony, I wish he had really would have been funnier. He ran downstairs, not realising he was nude which is rather remarkable considering he just took a piss, last time I checked if you were wearing clothes you would need to undo you're trousers to pee, and you usually remembering doing that. Izzie gasped when he saw Derek running down the stairs like a mad man and shielded her eyes. Meredith was balling her eyes out while rocking the baby back and forth in her arms as well as muttering inaudible threats aimed at Derek.

"Meredith I am so sorry I didn't see you down there…I had a rough night" Derek said rambling, unsure of how to make things better. Meredith didn't seem to care because she seemed to continue to cry and then she wandered off and Izzie tried following her but Derek grabbed her arm and looked at her.

"Dr Stevens what are you doing here?"

"I came here to retrieve you and your wife so that the hospital can go back to normal. Now I need to go and check on Meredith" Derek didn't let go and just watched her, they really shouldn't have left Meredith unattended for so long because she smelt like urine and was popping back a few tabs of speed that she had hidden in the babies head. She really was concerned about the baby's health but what I don't get is why she believed it was real when she just pulled its head off to remove drugs?

"Dr Shepherd please let go of me"

"Izzie can I come too I need to speak to Addison, I love her and she needs to know that"

"If you coming with Meredith and I means you let go of my arm then fine you can come but you might want to get dressed first" The Neuro surgeon turned a deep shade of red and instinctively covered up his little Shepherd, he turned around and ran back up to his room and Izzie gasped after seeing his new tattoo of an epic tale depicting Kermit showing his love for Miss Piggy on his lower back. "I didn't know Derek had a tattoo or a love for the mupets…" Izzie said before walking into a near by alley way and retrieving the now re-drugged Meredith and waiting for Derek to come back down. When he returned this time fully clothed the three doctors made their way to the café that Addison had specified each of their intentions different.

Addison waited patiently at the café with Brandy, as time ticked by she contemplated leaving several times but her curiosity made her stay. She had the urge to find out what it was that Meredith wanted to speak to her about, she wondered if she had come to make some kind of an apology and beg her for forgiveness, giving Addison the perfect opportunity to unleash the rage she felt for the women on her, possibly breaking her neck in the process. But she knew better than to fantasize about those kinds of things because Meredith was far too selfish to apologise for sleeping with her husband.

* * *

I know it took me a while to update but meh it's out now so enjoy! 


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Addison was about to get up and leave when Izzie walked into the café, Meredith stumbling behind. Not long after Derek waltzed in with them and took a seat at their table. She looked on in shock as if she couldn't believe he had the nerve to sit with her. Not only that but the smell of urine could be smelt and needless to say that was off putting. Izzie glanced around the table, watching as everyone stole glances from each other, the tension increasing in the room. Brandy took a deep breath, she was going to attempt to break the silence but Addison jumped in.

"Who smells like pee?"

Meredith was dazed and had no idea what exactly was going on, she wasn't even aware that Addison was sitting in front of her. Izzie spoke up, smiling sheepishly. "Ehehe that would be Meredith, Derek kind of…relieved himself on her"

Addison cocked an eyebrow and quizzically looked at Derek. "So you pee on your girlfriends now?" Derek didn't blame her for assuming this but the bitterness in her voice hurt him. Of course he didn't expect her to willingly jump back into his arms, he would have to work towards that but he still hoped she loved him in the slightest.

"No it wasn't like that. I woke up on a balcony and I needed to go and I didn't quite realise where I was…and I didn't know Meredith was walking on the streets below, I guess you could say she was in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Right…and why should I believe any of this?" Addison was still in doubt of Derek's recantation of events; she didn't even know why she was there.

"I think I was drugged" Derek said in a hope to make Addison, his wife, the love of his life believe him in the slightest.

"Derek why should I believe you were drugged when I saw you doing coke lines off her stomach" She pointed at Meredith who was examining the salt shaker with much detail.

"Well you see I kind of bought this-" Derek was cut off mid sentence by Addison.

"Just stop right there, I don't want to hear any more of your lame excuses. Let's just get down to the real reason we are here" Addison was becoming frustrated with Derek's constant excuses she rolled her eyes and attempted to find a reason to stay.

In another corner of the café a commotion began to stir, a young writer was attempting to compose a story, more like a chapter of what was supposed to be her debut novel however things were just not going her way. She pounded her fists against the table top and shut her laptop in a fit of rage. The other patrons of the café became concerned with her behaviour but she would just sneer at them and they would go back to their breakfast meals. Addison just watched, bemused by the behaviour, it was definitely something keeping her there as Izzie rambled on about something to do with the hospital.

"Excuse me, waiter I'd like a vodka martini please" The aggravated novelist shouted at a passing waiter, giving a glare that demanded attention. Addison quietly snickered to herself and brushed it off as a sneeze when Izzie looked at her, Brandy was intent on what was happening with Meredith to even notice.

"Um…Ma'am it's 9:00am, it's a bit early" The waitress was clearly put off by the less than amused patron and did not want to get on her bad side.

"Do I look like I care? I don't care if its 3am I want my god damn martini!" She was standing up now and just about all of the café was watching her, the waitress scurried off, unsure of what to do but she figured it was best she complied with the customer's demands.

Over at Addison's side of the café Derek had been watching the ordeal unfold and sighed, he was far from impressed with this girls behaviour, what he hadn't realised was that the girl had seen Derek's sigh and she was now filled to the brim with anger. Addison could see what was going to happen and had no intention of stopping things, Derek needed to be put in his place and she wasn't about to stop that from happening. Derek had no idea what was going to happen until the aggressive writer grabbed then closest to her and threw it harshly at Derek, the pen hitting him directly in the head.

His jaw dropped and he was just stunned, Addison cupped her hands over her mouth to stop herself from laughing and Brandy who was now watching was in equal shock as Izzie. Meredith was the only one not watching, she was slowly sprinkling salt on the baby dolls head and licking it off, she really needs to get herself to rehab otherwise she'll end up like Pete Doherty. Before Derek had a chance to react an empty glass came flying in his direction, it just missed his head and shattered on the wall behind him.

Addison at this point was sniggering and had decided congratulations were in order. "I LOVE YOU LOVE LOVE" She beamed, standing up, her hands meeting for a small applause. The writer was now confused as to what just happened, she hadn't expected to receive a reaction like that but she wasn't about to yell at what appeared to be an adoring fan. She slowly made her way over, ignoring Derek and looked at Addison who had just extended her hand. Shaking it she smiled apprehensively. "I'm Addison Montgomery-Shepherd and you would be my new hero" She said quite confidently.

"Uh thanks but please call me Cess, so why are you sitting with this jerk?" Looking away from Addison she glanced around the table, pausing on Meredith and just decided to shrug it off, it was Spring Break and she had seen a lot of unusual characters lately, she supposed this was just another of them.

"This jerk just so happens to be my soon to be ex-husband" Derek cringed when he heard the words, Addison was aware that she hadn't told him the news but now he knew.

"Wait, we're getting a divorce?" Derek was surprised, he knew things weren't going extremely well but he was living in some kind of fantasy world where adulterous husbands were rewarded for their behaviour.

"You were married to that?" Cess said curiously, looking back and forth between Addison and Derek.

"Unfortunately" Addison sighed before turning to Derek to address his question. "Unless you can prove to me right now why we shouldn't get a divorce then yes we are getting divorced" Derek opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out, he was baffled by the situation and attracted to Addison for her strength.

A waitress soon walked over with Cess' drink but before Cess could grab it Addison had already snatched the martini off the tray and downed it in one hit, Brandy went to stop her but it was too late. Izzie was just sitting dumbfounded, trying to pull Meredith away from the salt and pepper. "Excuse me Addison but that was my drink" Cess said still slightly shocked.

"Do you think that bar across the street would start happy hour now for us?" Addison had already grabbed Cess by the arm and was now walking across the street to the bar; Cess wasn't one to turn down a free drink so she obediently followed, and hoping that drinking with a random stranger would be fun rather than awkward.

Derek chased after the two women, he needed to explain to Addison that he still loved her, Brandy left Izzie and Meredith sitting alone at the table to join the wild goose chase. As she went to cross the road she was cut off by a large black van stopping suddenly, the back doors swung open and a hung over Jess stumbled out. Needless to say Brandy was shocked, not just because Jess had been in the van but because of the sheer size of the van. Brandy walked around to the back and peered inside, the van was pimped out to the max, there were poles set up, beds, a mini bar, Jacuzzi, she wondered how it all fit. Passed out on the floor were Bailey, Allie and Spider who had all caught a lift when they saw the van passing by.

"Howdy" Said the driver, a female wearing a straw cowboy hat stepped up besides Brandy, smiling sweetly as she tipped her hat ever so slightly. "I'm Inkie and this here is my stripping bus"

"A stripping bus? Seriously?" Brandy had never come across a stripping bus before nor had she ever imagined one looking this appealing. She had never thought about stripping but the thought of rolling around in that van was enough to make her switch professions. Not that she was really employed anyway, last time I checked hand made law degrees were just as good as trying to use a get out of jail free card out side of Monopoly.

"Where's Addison?" Jess asked groggily looking for her bag, and top, and pants, yes she was only in her underwear and she couldn't remember much of the previous night but she was sure that Inkie had swayed her into stripping.

"She and this new girl, Cess went to the bar across the street" Jess nodded and walked across to the bar, forgetting that she was still only in her underwear. Wolf whistles and howls could be heard from the bar as she entered and Jess soon came running out and was now a deep shade of red. She snuck into the van and came out fully clothed, she smiled weakly at Inkie and Brandy who were just laughing to them selves and went back into the bar.

"So you want to join our stripping clan?" Inkie said looking back at Brandy.

"How many members do you have so far?"

"It's only me, Jess and Michelle so far, Michelle went to get food while I was supposed to be finding us a place to stay"

"Sure I'll join the clan, sounds like fun. So how exactly does it work?" Brandy said curiously, eager to start the stripping with her new found clan.

"Well basically we just drive around, stop anywhere and strip and audiences come, you'd be surprised, and we make a lot of money" Bailey crawled out of the back of the van rubbing her head, she wondered where she was and then she remembered. The stripping van, alcohol and strippers…they had some good times but now she had to get back to the mission that was retrieving Addison.

"Alright ladies thanks for the show last night but if you can point me in the direction of Addison I would be grateful"

Brandy pointed towards the bar and then hopped into the back of the van to inspect her new place of work. She would have to explain to Addison what was going on but she hoped that she wouldn't mind. "Well welcome to the crew, we're going to have a show tonight; Spring Break brings in great business for us" Brandy nodded in approvement and continued to explore the van.

Meanwhile Kayli and Tyra were walking the streets when they came across a small cupcake shop, Kay was in the mood for cupcakes so she entered, leaving Tyra tied up to a fire hydrant outside. The last thing she needed was Tyra causing a scene in a cupcake shop. Kay walked to the counter and immediately smiled when she saw who was serving her, the young woman greeted Kayli with a toothy grin. "Welcome to the cupcake emporium how may I help you?"

"You could start by getting undressed" Kayli said smoothly, the girl didn't respond she just let her jaw drop.

"Excuse me? I just sell cupcakes, with frosting" The girl had decided to flirt as well; there was nothing wrong with some playful flirting.

"I'm Kayli and what can I call you?" Kay was now glad she had wanted cupcakes but she hadn't expected to come across this treasure.

"Stephanie or Steph" She said with a smile, as she put some frosting on a new batch of cupcakes.

"How about baby? When do you get off work?" Kay was aware that persuing other people could cause jealousy between her and Kendel but once Kendel met Steph she was sure that things would work out.

"I can finish up now if you want and we could go for a walk" Steph suggested winking playfully at her new friend, or possible lover.

"That sounds grand, can you bring some frosting?" Steph arched an eyebrow at the question and grabbed a can of frosting and hung up her apron. She came out from behind the counter and offered her hand to Kay. Kay took her hand and the pair walked out of the shop, grabbing Tyra on the way out who was in fact abusing people who passed by.

Back in the bar Cess and Addison were having fun drinking and chatting all until Derek came in and dragged Addison off to the side to have a private chat. So there she was sitting in a booth in the corner of the bar talking to her estranged husband, more like zoning in and out of his pathetic attempt at a speech.

"So Addi what do you say? Will you take me back?" Derek said, hope glimmering in his eyes.

"Huh? What were you saying?" Addison said snapping back to reality after his last sentence.

"You weren't listening…I basically said that I am still in love with you and I want to be with you til the day I die" Addison rolled her eyes at him sceptically and placed both palms down on the table.

"I'd be lying to you if I said I didn't love you but I can't risk being hurt again Derek, I mean you go off doing coke lines off your ex girlfriend, how am I supposed to have faith in us?" Addison said sternly, Derek sighed he knew she was right but he had to prove to her otherwise.

"Please Addison I'm willing to try, therapy whatever it's all up to you" Addison was glad he was willing to try but she was still unsure. Before she could answer Derek Bailey was standing besides her yelling things at her and in amongst that yelling her younger sister Jess was trying to say something.

"EVERYONE SHUTUP!" Addison finally said, all the noise wasn't helping the headache she already had. "Now one at a time. Jess you first"

Jess sighed and took a deep breath. "I was going to warn you that Bailey and some of the interns were in town as well as the Chief and Burke, they are all looking for you because"

"The hospital is going crazy without you Addison" Bailey interjected "Then Derek and everyone else raced up here, you need to go back to the hospital you can't stay here at Spring Break forever"

"I know but I have a lot of things to sort out and here is so much fun, why don't you stay here and party a little Miranda?"

+

Okay so it took me a while to update, I know and you all pushed me to finish it. So here it is, updated at last. Oh and Kay next chapter we'll have the underground cock fighting ring with Bruce and Godzilla I promise, it will be the highlight of that chapter.


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